The Ink Thief

This is a little rp blog for my OC, Jacques Abel. Jacques is known throughout his home country (which may vary between thread settings) as the "ink thief" because he once stole a quill and two ink pots from the royal palace.
Open to pretty much any ideas you may have, and there is more explanation on the character in the 'about' tab.
Selective NSFW.

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inneskeeper:

flying-potato2:

inneskeeper:

strawberrocket:

inneskeeper:

tiredshadowscale:

poggay:

poggay:

inneskeeper:

inneskeeper:

inneskeeper:

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you’ll relax

Innes Keeper’s Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses
(for nearly no extra spoons!)

Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.

I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.

Scientifically Proven Perfect Extremely Easy Grilled Cheese

INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS
-butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich
-garlic cloves, I use 3 usually
-a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers
-a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread.
-a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you’re spicy

INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH
-two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.

-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it.
this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters
isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like ¼ or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering
to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.

super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.

METHOD

1. Take garlic cloves and crush them either with the meat of your palm or the flat of a knife or literally anything that would crush good. Take bread slices and put a source of spice or sweetness if you are using one. take a pan and put it on the stove on low-medium heat (aka a 2 out of 10).
2. Place the butter in the pan, as well as the garlic cloves, the source of heat, and the source of herbiness. Congratulations you have now literally done ALL the extra effort that you need to make a grilled cheese like this. That’s it. No extra dishes. No fussing with amounts or chopping or whatever. That’s it.
3. The butter will melt in the pan and soak up the delicious ingredients that you also put into the pan. Take each slice of bread and place it in the pan to butter it, OR just take one slice, place the cheese on it, and then put the other bread on. It’s really just a matter of extra effort.
4. When the bread is in the pan, turn it up to medium heat (5 out of 10) and just sorta let it sit for a bit. When you can see the cheese start to get visibly melty—or when you vibecheck it—flip it once and just do the same thing.
5. When you’ve grilled your cheese on both sides, take it out of the pan and put it on a plate (or just a paper towel to save on dish spoons. btw paper plates and plastic utensils are a fucking godsend if you hate dishes and/or can’t do them very easily/takes a lot of effort.)

That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.

outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich

oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it’s still the best thing ive ever tasted?????

oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there’s no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.

I didn’t steal it from Prometheus he’s my trophy husband!

ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:

please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese

I’M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)

i had no idea if you’re supposed to put the honey on the inside or outside so i went with outside and holy shit

it forms a delicious sugary crust if you put it on after the thing is almost done cooking. if you do it too early then the honey burns and it doesnt taste nearly as good

and innes keeper was not lying about how easy it is, all I needed was a cutting board for the cheese and the pan and it was so easy to make because I have very little experience with cooking and it came out great

its supposed to go inside but now you have me curious???

dyke-deanwinchester:

spacetrashfallingdown:

superrandomusernameposts:

pulchrabelle:

chitaquadean:

Someone who still watches supernatural tell me what the fuck this means

There was a montage involving a scene where Cas made out with Meg and said he learned it from the pizza man followed by several scenes of Dean eating pizza.

there was WHAT

here it is. btw.

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.

Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.

Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.

You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.

As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.

Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.

This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.

A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.

ALT

skeyeseb:

homoidiotic:

From Boy to Man in the Pacific Northwest by Drew Lewis (source: Issue #40 of FTM International published in March 1998)

[ID:

Image 1: From Boy to Man in the Pacific Northwest by Drew Lewis

Image 2: Before I started my transition I thought the hardest part would be the psychotherapy, getting “the letters”, and satisfying the doctors that I had filled all the requirements outlined by the HBGDA. Living in Eugene, Oregon did not give me any options in seeking help for gender dysphoria. Being a student at the University of Oregon, I had at my disposal the student health center and unsurprisingly I am the first transgendered person to who sought help there. Of course for surgeries I would have to go to Portland, but I was able to get counseling and hormone therapy through the U of O.
My doctor was able to get me in touch with the surgeons and my therapists wrote the letters so all the medical aspects of transitioning were taken care of. I had already changed my name and the gender on mu drivers license, so the part of the transition I thought would be the hardest was over. The next step for me was to finally grow out of my boyhood and become a man.
Eugene has no TG community, and the queer community is dominated by white lesbians with a man-hating separatist sentiment. My close friends stood by me but when the changes from hormones were noticeable - and I finally began to see what I am reflected in what my body looks like - I began to notice a big change in how I was treated by people who I had always considered friendly acquaintances.
I had always been very visible in this community, but after I began transitioning I was the new exotic strange fruit. Women were intrigued and curious, but at the same time criticizing me for behaving like a man. I found myself stuck in a place with no TG community and almost complete ignorance of the concept that gender is a social/cultural construct, sex and gender are not the same thing, and the labels man/woman are just definitions defined by a society which thinks biological sex determines gender. And that drag queens, drag kings, cross dressers, trannies, butches, etc. epitomize the idea that gender is fluid and can be expressed in many ways which are not rigid. On top of

Image 3: all that, it is even more difficult to explain why I would be attracted to gay men.
Dealing with being a transman in this lesbian community is difficult enough, but also being a black man in the Pacific Northwest has not been easy. Before I began my transition, I passed most of my life as a young black boy. When my voice began to drop and I got bigger, I began feeling the wrath of the racism towards black men. I had always been aware of the racism but racist behavior towards 12-year-old black boys and 20-year-old black men is very different.
With all this going on I’m still the happiest I’ve ever been, and I can finally see what I am reflect in the mirror.

Black and white photo of Drew Lewis smiling to the camera. Underneath the photo is written his name in italic.

END ID]

homoidiotic:

ALT

ALT

ALT

Alexander John Goodrum discussing some discourse happening within the trans community in the early 2000’s (from FTM International Issue #50 2001)

homoidiotic:

Billy Lane (SOURCE: Bay Area Reporter, 1998)

juicingbeetles:

juicingbeetles:

Rangers Apprentice as Kennie J.D. Quotes:

Will: At this point I begin to question everything, what is life? Life is but a vapour.

Alyss: Do not. Fucketh. With. Mine. Bag!

Halt: At this point coffee does nothing for me, I just sip it for emphasis. Oh, you wore that? (Sips)

Jenny: Have you seen my thighs? Luscious, but spacially demanding.

Crowley: The sex is…so unseasoned, like chicken broth - through a boulon cube in there and see what happens.

Horace: I understand that pent-up sexual frusteration. I live here! I built this city!

Gilan: I know you put your faith in the power of the magic rock but…I think it gave you half a glass.

Cassandra: I am no lawyer, just a girl with common sense.

Will: Back when I was a soda machine, I was full of coke.

Gilan: This sex is like watching two unsalted crackers rubbing disinterestedly against each other.

Alyss: Just felt my vulva fall off.

Crowley: I feel like I’m being held hostage by myself!

Horace: (belting) A BROODING HOT 25-YEAR OLD TEENAGER!!!

Halt: Next time I’m in an argument’m going to have it just lounged out, on the couch. Sounds like some boss bitch behavior.

Halt: (About Pauline) she aged just reall well, she aged like fine wine and he (Ferris) aged like room-temp dairy.

thegaymertrainer:

I FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN

tiredspider:

new genre of videos youtube’s algorithm has decided I needed to see